Doors are Killing Our Kids, Along with Books, Tables, Chairs… (or) The Answers to School Shootings Are Right in Front of Us “There are too many entrances and too many exits to our over 8,000 campuses in Texas. There aren’t enough people to put a...
Humor
You Don’t Know Until You Test It
If a Cheerio rolls under the refrigerator, I think I’d stick my hand under to get it out. It’s scary what’s under a fridge, believe me. And I’m human. But I wouldn’t hesitate. I see it all the time from my sky box at Yankee Stadium. A foul...
“I Got My Smile On” or Ode to Sycophants (song/audio)
Music by Tom Glenn & Lyrics by Suzanne Cloud This tune was composed by guitarist Tom Glenn after seeing Cabinet members standing behind Trump and smiling while he said the most vile things after the Charlottesville Neo-Nazi protest. I heard it...
How It Ends: The Everything Bagel Seder
The morning after we cast our votes, informing them by simple majority, in the Electoral College, and in truth that our liberty has had enough of being diminished, grabbed, fondled, ridden roughly, and otherwise abused to great delight of the tax...
Hillary Clinton Visits a Fortune Teller, October 2016
Hillary sits across from a Fortune Teller, who stares into his crystal ball. HILLARY: Election day is close, but I can’t wait any longer! Please tell me – where am I in 2017? FORTUNE TELLER: A vision is appearing before me. I see...
Donald Trump Addresses the Girl Scouts
Thank you. Thank you. I’m thrilled to be here, thrilled. Fantastic. I should say Toffee-Tastic. (LAUGHTER) That’s a Girl Scout cookie, and I love those cookies. Thin Mints. I could eat them all day. You know, some Girl Scouts came to the...
A Magical Thinker’s Survival Guide
A comic by Janice “I Wish I May, I Wish I Might” Shapiro
Neo(Trump)ologisms for 2017
1) Trumpe l’oeil: When you can’t believe the shit you’re seeing. 2) Trumple: To stamp all over with the jackboots of ignorance; e.g., “The reporter was thrown to the ground and trumpled.” 3) Trumpolining. When you bounce from one...
Capitol Comedy Hour with Kev & Paul
Inside the Capitol building, underneath a statue of Barry Goldwater, a cluster of Republican members of Congress are gathered around a keg and holding red Solo cups. Among them are House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, Speaker Paul Ryan, and...
“Appropriate and Just”
Diplomacy? A bother and a bore.
In fact, who needs a diplomatic corps?
Who needs cables and epistles?
When you launch a bunch of missiles,
you can lift your polling numbers from the floor.
Selections from The Trumpiad
SMART “‘He’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met,’ said Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah, the most senior GOP senator. Asked about Carson’s lack of experience in the agency’s areas of expertise, Hatch replied: ‘No, but he has medical experience ...
Comey Asks Justice Department to Reject Trump’s Invisible Duck Claim
WASHINGTON — The F.B.I. director, James B. Comey, asked the Justice Department this weekend to publicly reject President Trump’s assertion that an invisible duck sits on his shoulder, senior American officials said on Sunday. Mr. Comey has...
The President Rewrites Classic Proverbs
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words really piss me off. Fuck you, Alec Baldwin. The tweet is mightier than the sword. Two’s company, three’s a crowd. Four is just Ivanka casually sitting in on this meeting. Don’t worry about...